To serve as a sub

You didn't treat me right

The very foundation of love and trust wasn't there. Too little. Not enough. Lack of the essential. It wasn't there. That's real and true.

And

As a true submissive I know it's right to remove myself from you and the situation

And

As a true submissive I know it's my very path to understand that I still not understand how you need to be served.

So

It hurts. Your judgement, your silence, you pulling away and leaving me

And

The total openness I feel when I yet again on my knees praying for forgiveness because I can't understand your needs. How sorry I feel because I can't get it right. The grief I feel for not relating in a way that you feel seen, heard and understood. It makes me sad. My heart yearns. My deepest desire is to serve. You. Beyond reason and understanding.

So

It's so easy to assume you are toxic and filled with poison. Your behaviour was indeed unhealthy and not good

And

I know you are hurt. Longing for that deep, transparent merge and understanding between a Dom and his devoted sub. You left. The time wasn't right for us. We both know.

So

I'm opening myself to the Sky. To the Earth. Take care of Him. Let Him feel this deep inside. You are so loved! My life is in service for you. I'm going to live life fully

And

Let myself be loved. To love deep and for real. To grow and expand. To thrive and to gain success, money, community and everything good. Full of life and compassion. Deeply nourished and satisfied.

So

If you ever come back. I'll look at you with only love in my eyes. To let love and compassion pour out of me without words. You were my first Dom. Maybe I'm going to serve you for the rest of my life. One way or another. It seems that way. Together or not. My life is at service for you. I accept it. Embrace it and kneel down and let life unfolds.

Amen