Of course I miss you. Our conversations was the highlight of my day. I crave you. Even when it's just crumbs and pieces. I long to feel you. Smell you. Be embraced in your arms and just feel your body close. I wonder what kind of kisser you are. I like to immerse myself completely to the kiss. A good kisser is so underrated. Cuddles are good, sex is great. Don't get me wrong. But oh, a man that can kiss.. It's truly something else. The whole female population melted when Adam Brody kissed Kristin Bell in Nobody wants this. How he held her face and how we can feel how the rest of the world fades away. Even the crew on the film set was carried away by that kiss. So never ever underestimate a good kisser. For real.
I miss getting kissed. Properly. By a man who know exactly how to do it. I love it sloppy. Wet. Tongue. Teeth. Take your time. Devour me. Make me wild, soft and dripping wet. Show me I'm yours just by kissing me. Mark me.
So yes, my body and mind are aching. I'm longing for a man. AND, more than ever I'm willing to walk away. Remove myself when I'm not chosen. Not letting anyone feed of my energy when I'm only left with crumbs. I want you. All of you. I have so much to given and my ability to recive you is enormous. I'm a catch and the prize. I don't say that in an entitled way. I just humbly know my worth. I have been here before. Wildly attracted to a man that wouldn't choose me. This time around the whole encounter has been deeply healing and way less painful. His clear and direct communication, his raw honesty and deep respect for me has healed me in ways I didn't knew was possible. Maybe that was the whole point of him coming back to my life. I feel my own resistance. I want him, God damn it. Fuck life for dangling such a delicious treat right in front of me.
I told him a couple of times that I almost have a bizarre trust and faith in life itself. And I do. I can't fight what is. I can only soften. No judgement of him or his behaviour. Only trust and surrender to life. Back home. Back to my body. Back to myself. Deep breath. Ah... I want. I need. I wish. One day, I'll thank myself to always choose to trust life. My devotional heart and body will be recived by a man that understands the gifts. A man that wants me fully. A man that wants to commit fully. Because he choose me.
Thank you. I love you.
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