Life ✨️

My gut has acted out since Saturday. Butterflies isn't the same as it used to. Lol. A different sleep schedule, staying up late, finding a wildly beautiful man attractive... And suddenly it seems we are going to meet at least twice or three times in the next week or so. Butterflies? Oh yes. Massively. Phew. I know I'm going to be disappointed if he isn't showing up. It's still just attending to same events. I haven't been asked out. It's just time to be around him or if he isn't there, the music is still amazing. Beautiful man or not.

I'm so on the edge. Moving restlessly. Dancing. Breathing. Digesting. Oh this painfully exhausting beautiful glorious life. I so want to be chosen. Seen. Touched

Mmmm open myself up. Slowing down as much as possible. Not nonchalant. Just doing my best to regulate. To move with the excitement and the tension. To lean back and swim slowly in my own delicious desire. He is gorgeous either way. Breathing into the detachment to outcome. Can I enjoy him so freely as a beautiful morning sun? Can my passion move freely as in dancing? To let all the deliciousness flod my system.? To let it move me. Freely. No chasing. No pushing. Just shine in my full expression of pleasure and joy. He exists. It's enough for now. Maybe it's enough forever. I'm less scared even when I feel out of control. Slightly more regulated. I won't no more be the one dreaming and yearing or aching without being met in reasonable time frame.

So yes I'm showing up with an open heart. Soft body. And let life unfold. I want a good man. Amen.