Unknown Pleasures

I feel my naked body relaxes. My soft belly and my hips gently pushed into the floor. The sheep fur underneath me feels delicious. I'm resting my head on my arms and I'm gazing slowly into the fire in the gorgeous fireplace. His feet is heavy on my back. Not uncomfortable,  just heavy enough to give me the pressure that my body obviously craves. It's a new level of relaxation mixed with bliss and deep safety. It feels like a gift to have His feet resting on my body. I feel calm and something inside of me is melting and exhaling. One of these things I didn't knew I needed. It's a whole new world of plesure and play opening up to me.

The next time I'm blessed with His feet on me, I have a big butt plug in my ass. I'm not relaxed and sleepy this time around. He plays skillfully and quite calmly with me. Moving His feet on my ass and lower back. The plug is moving in the most delicious way. Stretching in all directions. Deeper. I'm making sounds. Squirming. Moaning. Almost screaming in pure delight. Feeling my hips and belly being pushed down. My ass yet again stretched. He pulls me up by my hair and pushes me into the shower. His warm fluid all over me, while I'm kneeling for Him. Him peeing on me, yet another unknown need I didn't knew about. In a flash I remember another early morning when we didn't had the space to fuck and He just pushed me into the shower and gave me everything. It's wild how owned I feel and deeply connected to Him.The ice cold shower in stark contrast to His warm fluid. I gasped and the plesure pulsing through me. Back in the other shower,yet again He pulls me up by my hair, bends me over the bathroom sink and fucks me from behind. Filled up. The butt plug moving every time He pushes in. Wet pussy, wet body. It's insane and yet so right. Because I'm His. All of me. Messy. Dirty. Always begging for more.

How He loves to use me. The wild experience while my head is hanging down from the dinner table,  my body flat on it. Fucking my throat, describing how it looks, before His big, delicious hand finds my pussy. I'm gasping and spluttering,  His fingers milking my pussy and the satisfying sounds He makes when I'm squirting all over the table.

All the unknown pleasures I'm discovering. The wild, twisted, beautiful, primal urges. I love everything about it. I love being His.

And, for the first time in my life, I know I have chosen this. It's almost overwhelming how self aware I can get. For the first time in my life I choose actively and consciously. Wide awake. Eyes open. Honest. Transparent.

We are grown adults. With full, complex life. We have wildly different lifestyles. We use our time very differently. In many ways we are opposite.  Yes, sometimes I get anxious. Sometimes I'm afraid to be naive and slightly dumb. Not because He is wrong in anyway, but sometimes I'm afraid we are too different. Is it possible for real to build a sustainable life together? The pratical sides of me are sometimes LOUD. How to navigate money and stuff. To know that the one top reason people break up are because of money and economics. It scares me. I have my own wounds and trauma around it. So, over and over again I feel the path of surrender to life, to dare to trust Him and to trust my own ability to communicate honest and vulnerable. And our ability to find our way together. Deep breath. Do I continue to choose Him and us, even when I'm scared. Even when I don't know if we actually can manage it all? Is it possible to move forward,  not to selfishly push my own agenda or trauma. But to be realistic and honest? I choose to believe in us. It's scary to write it down. To let it out. But I owe it to myself to stay honest. I owe it to Him and to us. To always speak my concern and worries. It's damn hard. But hey, life is complex I already know that. Is love enough? I choose to believe so.

What I do know,  it's so much unknown plesures, fears and beauty I still have to discover. I choose to be brave. To embrace life even more. To let myself trust this deep path of submission and surrender. Submit to Him and surrender to life.

Thank you. I love you.