Time to say goodbye

Maybe it's time for a spring cleaning. Block, deleted and leave people alone. Oh, I so feel into my own ego, or the hurt little girl, or the angry girl. The one that want to punish people when I don't get what I want. And it's actually quite hard to navigate. What is the healthy side that want to have clear boundaries and honest conversations and what is the hurt little girl. I can't always feel the difference to be honest. But the adult in me sees how I'm left, hanging mid air. Shared experiences, conversations and then totally silence. It isn't right. It isn't proper. It's muddy and unclear. I don't want to push but my boundaries are mine to express. So yes, maybe it's time to block in every media. You obviously don't want me in your life. It's been on and off for 10 years or something. Maybe I should be crystal clear in leaving you behind. Forever. It doesn't feel right to let you stay and read my blog. It feels unfair. It gives me these micro doses of hope. To know you are a small part of my life. Still. All the things I don't want to burden you with, I express freely in my own space. Knowing you are reading.

If you refuse to step up and in, I can't longer stay open and soft for you. It's exhausting to stay soft and open without help, support and care. In general it's so hurtful to stay like this and not being met. To co regulate. To help each other to recharge and revitalise.

Why do so many women get hard, bitter and mean? I get it. I don't want to become any of it. I'm consciously cultivating and practicing to fill my own cup, to melt in my own pleasure, slowing down and truly be in my feminine delicious nature. And, I'm tired. I feel alone. Left alone. And as many women asks, where are the good men? I know you are out there. I know. And I do trust the timing of life and I also believe in being crystal clear in what I actually can live with. Clean slate. To free my body and mind from men that can't or want to step in. So the right man can step in because it's space for it. Because he wants me in every way and claim me as his. So yes, maybe it's time to say goodbye for real this time.