Time to leave Instagram for good?

I feel so tired and almost angry. It's zero point in fighting against the big guys. Instagram is blocking me. My follower count has stopped. I have quite many new people following me daily but the numbers doesn't change. I know it's a great opportunity to truly let go of that shit. To truly mean that I'm doing this for myself. But it's also making me feel like I'm crazy or going crazy. I feel invisible. Ignored. Used. It's so many accounts experiencing the same. The get shadow banned and invisible to their followers and new ones.

So why the fuck do I still use my time on that app? Give them my content, pictures, words, time and attention? Because it's so fucking addictive! Almost every other habit can I replace with a better habit. ( Food, people, tv-shows, work outes etc) but what and how does I feel connected and seen without social media? It's been a habit. An addiction. It isn't right anymore and right now it's pure willpower. And it isn't sustainable. The addict in me will suffer. The healthy part of will get exhausted. I have to actually rearrange my whole life. Facebook is different. Less addictive. Less personal. More about family and everyday stuff. I know it's the same shitty Meta power. But one step at the time. I know the need to be seen is about getting even more in touch with myself. See myself in silence. Without distraction.  To dare to just be. It feels like change the tide. Impossible. So I guess it's a process. An untangling. Slowly. Gently and tenderly stepping away. Not judging myself harshly. Starting new, more healthy habits. Back to reading more. Writing more. Watching TV shows without multitasking.

It's wild how this things and technology has changed my life in such short amount of time. I'm leaning in to this. It's about time. My blog will get more updates I guess and now in August I have had my website for a year. It takes time, effort and money to keep it going,  so if it isn't sustainable I guess the next step is to step out of the virtual space even more and full focus on connecting and living in the real world. Thank you all that follows me here. I appreciate you and I'm deeply grateful for the support and care.