I'm quite used to be honest towards myself and the main reason I write. To truly dive deep in my own being. Today I actually spoke out loud; I'm so good at affirming myself. I love myself and I have good friends and family that truly loves me. I know it to be deeply true. And, I now feel the vulnerability in wanting that from a man. I can't anymore just do this by myself. I need the reflection back. I need to feel desired, wanted, sexual touch and being take by a man that truly wants me. Us. Something got to give. I need tangible proof. I feel drained and tired to always be the one giving myself everything I need. "
It was surprisingly vulnerable to admit out loud. To feel my own "weakness " I know we need each other. We are social creatures. We have survived in tribes and community. And we have survived and thrived in pairs and unions. I lay down my defences and independence. I lay down my pride and ego. I need you. I want you. You are welcome into my life. Amen
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